


In Sickness And In Health

by purplelacemoon



Category: Billary - Fandom, Political RPF - US 21st c.
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-27 21:32:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13889541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplelacemoon/pseuds/purplelacemoon
Summary: January 31st, 2005. Much to Bill's concern, a severely dehydrated Hillary still suffering the after effects of a 24 hour virus faints mid-speech.





	In Sickness And In Health

Hillary stepped up to the podium to speak and quickly dug her fingernails into the palm of her hand as everything in the room around her seemed to spin a little. _God, not again._ Having already dealt with the embarrassment of leaving the room once that day she closed her eyes for a moment, silently willing her body to cooperate as she did her best not to let her hands shake while opening the folder containing her speech. She slowly tried to breathe through each wave of nausea as it hit her, inwardly cursing whatever virus was currently attacking her system as she desperately focused on the blurring words on the page and ignored her searing body temperature as it continued to climb…

_____________________________

  
“Senator Clinton?”  
  
“Hillary?”  
  
“Alright everybody back, clear the room.”  
  
“Should we call 911?”  
  
“Are there any doctor’s here?”  
  
She vaguely registered a panicked collection of voices as the blackness surrounding her slowly filtered back into reality. For a second Hillary couldn’t work out where she was at all, the mere seconds she had fallen unconscious feeling more like hours in her disoriented state. The unfamiliar ceiling above her eventually came into focus, along with the concerned faces of her staff and secret service agents and much to her horror, Hillary finally remembered the situation she had been in the middle of and panic instantly set in. She tried her best to sit up and her groggy state of mind was already quickly assessing the damage, sharp gaze scanning the room for cameras and relieved to see none in sight. _That’s one humiliation spared at least._  
  
The less-than flattering and certainly less-than sympathetic headlines were already flashing before her eyes, and Hillary pasted a quick reassuring smile on her face in a determined effort to immediately downplay the situation. In as much as it were possible to do so while lying slumped in a heap on the floor with a room full of concerned strangers staring at her as though she was some curious creature being observed in a zoo.  
  
“It wasn’t as dramatic as it sounds.” She later commented with a laugh in front of the press, the paleness of her complexion and the weakness of her voice betraying the reality she was pushing herself hard into overdrive to conceal. _Laugh it off and they will too._ A mantra that had served her with mixed results over the years, but nevertheless one she had learned to stick to as she forged through her days, presenting the impression she was made of steel to anyone who tried to pierce through the surface prying for a vulnerability to exploit.       
  
_On days like today, it hit her just how exhausting that really was._  
  
It wasn’t until hours later she finally allowed it to all fall away, thankfully stepping over the threshold into the very welcome embrace and privacy of her Chappaqua home. Away from the stares and the sympathy and lack of sympathy in equal measures, Hillary finally took a breath and permitted herself to feel everything she had kept at bay the entirety of the day in order to get through the rest of her schedule.  
  
Within seconds of closing the front door behind her she found herself quickly enveloped in another embrace. The familiar comfort of her husband’s arms wrapping tightly around her, rubbing his hands in soothing circles along her back as he kissed the top of her head and held her close as though she might disappear again at any moment. Which, given the relentless schedule he knew she’d been working herself into the ground with lately, he worried wasn’t an altogether unlikely possibility.    
  
Hillary relaxed against him for a moment, overwhelmingly grateful for the comforting safety that being held in his arms offered and no longer required to pretend she was fine when truthfully she was feeling anything but. With each reassuring stroke to her back the weight of the day slowly began to lift from her shoulders, an effect he always seemed to have on her before even uttering a single word of support. Hillary closed her eyes briefly and settled against his chest, yet as they stood in silence she slowly registered the clear tension evident in his stance. Ever the worrier, Hillary disentangled herself from his arms to get a better look at him.  
  
“Are you okay?”  
  
_“Me?”_ Bill raised his eyebrows in disbelief as his unusually pale wife peered up at him in question, “honey I’ve been worried sick all day about _you._ ”  
  
“Oh!” Hillary wasn’t sure if it was her lingering drowsiness from the sickness, or how accustomed she had become to this particular situation being reversed between them in recent months, but for some reason it hadn’t immediately occurred to her that she was the primary source of his concern in that moment.  
  
“I’m fine Billy, honestly I’m through the worst of it. I just got a little dehydrated.” Hillary repeated the reassuring line she’d been uttering all day, snapping right back into a very well rehearsed autopilot damage control mode. Only this time her audience was a lot less easily brushed off.  
  
Bill’s intense gaze pierced into her etched deep with worry. Having been up for most of the previous night with her he was not remotely convinced, and his hands remained firmly on her shoulders as he looked her carefully up and down.  
  
“I knew you should have stayed home this morning.”  
  
Hillary sighed, recalling their conversation and his fretting insistence all too well.  
  
“Oh Bill do we have to go through this all over again…I couldn’t let them down could I? You know what it’s like. I have commitments and people relying on me and I have a duty to work for those people who put their trust in me. I can’t just take a day off sick whenever I feel the slightest bit lightheaded.”  
  
Automatically back on the defensive, Hillary freed herself from his embrace and started toward the stairs but she could still feel Bill’s eyes burning into her every step of the way. She knew he wasn’t about to drop the subject that easily and of course, he followed after her.    
  
“You fainted Hill. Practically collapsed from what I heard, that’s not just ‘feeling lightheaded’. What if it had been serious?”  
  
“Well it wasn’t!”  
  
Hillary continued her path upstairs, wanting nothing more than for this conversation to be over already and to just fall into bed but Bill persisted after her again, reaching out for her hand and turning her back around to face him.  
  
“You know you have a duty to yourself too, to look after _yourself._ You don’t always have to put the whole world first.”  
  
Hillary rolled her eyes, shrugging his words off and shifting her focus anywhere but him as he stepped closer. Soldiering on through these things was always like second nature to her for as long as she could remember, ingrained so deep in her way of thinking that anything less felt like indulgence, weakness even. Bill had plenty of experience battling with this side of her over the years, along with the nagging and more-or-less confirmed suspicion of where it had come from; namely her father instilling in her from the youngest age the idea that if she wasn’t pushing herself to the brink of exhaustion then she clearly wasn’t doing enough. It was a belief system Bill had always tried his utmost to chip away at over the course of their life together, with varying degrees of success. But things had changed recently, neither of them were as young as they once were and this time he was determined to get her to listen.  
  
“I have a duty to look after you too. I was so worried honey, you scared me.” Bill lowered his voice gently but firmly as he took her by the hand again before adding, “and I know you know exactly what that feels like.”  
  
With those last words, a weighted silence fell between them. Hillary slowly brought her gaze back up to meet his as her guarded expression fractured and understanding seeped through the cracks, instantly knowing exactly what he was referring to without either of them having to voice an explanation. Bill’s heart bypass five months ago was still very much fresh in both of their minds, the lingering reminder of the fear they had both felt coupled with that awful sense of helplessness. It terrified them both how close they had come to a very different outcome indeed; an outcome Hillary in particular had barely been able to bring herself to think about. In keeping with the habit of a lifetime, she had thrown herself right back into her work as soon as they were out of the woods in a desperately determined effort to bury that looming sense of dread that threatened to swallow her whole. Shutting down all the thoughts she couldn't bear to entertain and drowning them in enough speeches and meetings and schedules to keep them at all bay. Most of the time. 

Finally realizing exactly where this confrontation was coming from Hillary folded her arms across her chest defensively, but as she spoke her voice came out as barely more than a whisper.  
  
“This was nothing like that.” She finally stepped back closer to him again, her heart softening by the look in his eyes she recognized all too well. _But what if it had been?_  
  
Blinking back the tears she suddenly found forming in her eyes, Hillary took his hands and gently placed them around her waist, reminding him that she was there, that she wasn’t going anywhere. “I really am fine, see.”  
  
Bill let out a slow deep breath, the entire days worth of pent up worry finally unpacking and hitting him all at once as his touch connected with her small frame. She felt thinner than he could remember her being for a while, and he could tell the virus had wiped her out far more than she had allowed anyone to know.  
  
“Will you stay home tonight instead of heading straight back to Washington?”  
  
Hillary hesitated. She had intended to continue her schedule as normal, to show the press they were getting themselves into a such a frenzy over nothing. She had managed to see through all her commitments that day despite the doctor’s urges for her to rest, and she still had a breakfast address to give the following morning in Washington...  
  
“Hillary?” Bill’s eyes pleaded with hers, his voice thick with worry and as exhaustion began to take over, Hillary slowly relented.  
  
“Okay.”  
  
Bill breathed a sigh of relief, kissing the top of her head as she settled against his shoulder.  
  
“I ran you a bath.” He announced before glancing up at the clock on the wall and frowning. “Although actually it might be a bit cold by now.”  
  
Hillary let out a chuckle, slipping her fingers through his as they continued upstairs together this time. “I’m sure it’s perfect.”  
  
“And I got in every flavor of Gatorade I could get my hands on! I’m not having you fainting on my watch Senator Clinton.”  
  
“I’ll do my best.” Hillary laughed, and Bill was pleased to see a little bit of color slowly return to her pale cheeks again.  
  
They climbed the rest of the stairs in silence, the emotional toll of the day slowly washing over them and Hillary glanced up at Bill with a small weary smile, feeling privately relieved and immensely grateful she was married to somebody who looked after her the way she needed, even when she was being too stubborn to admit it herself. Luckily that very same person knew her inside out well enough to understand exactly what she was thinking before she even started to express it.  
  
“Truthfully I’m glad to be home.” Hillary finally admitted in a slightly smaller voice as they reached the top of the stairs. A simple statement completing the conversation they had somehow had, as they often did, without having to actually vocalize anything. Bill smiled back down at his wife knowingly and squeezed her hand comfortingly.  
  
“I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> So I haven't really had the inspiration or time really to write for a while, but I came across an article about this incident recently and noticed the timing of it crossed over pretty closely with Bill's heart surgery and figured that had potential for a little angsty/comfort moment between them, so I finally pushed myself to actually finish something and publish it rather than procrastinate any longer! Hopefully I'm not too badly out of the habit of writing and this didn't turn out too nothing-y! Any feedback or comments are always incredibly much appreciated <3


End file.
